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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010156">the loneliness holds me close</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beephil/pseuds/beephil'>beephil</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Deity Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Dream is a god, Gen, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I'm going to regret posting this but lmaooooo, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Floris | Fundy, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Soulmates Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo Deserves Better, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has Horns, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, and blackmail so much blackmail, anyways enjoy, basically tubbo is just really sad, don't ship minors, god I'm begging just cry just do it, god i am so cringe, how does ao3 work, i tried to make this sad hope it worked, please cry, ranboo and tubbo are new besties, so much manipulation beware, this is kinda dark ngl, this is my first fic pls don't judge me, tubbo depression arc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:28:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beephil/pseuds/beephil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all heroes get their happy ending.<br/>It had been two days since he jumped. The broken body lying on the grass, so peaceful, so still. The slight tinge of red that ran down the hill, water and blood dying the flowers pink. The image burned into Tubbo’s mind, hot and fiery. The rain usually gave him comfort. It was constant, gentle, not like how it felt as he cradled Tommy’s head in his lap, begging for him to wake up. He’ll never wake up. He let loose a guttural scream, lost in the thunder, never to be heard by anyone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. a friendly black hole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW// suicide, mild gore, talk of death<br/>take care of yourself, this is touchy stuff.</p><p>This is inspired by "Cemeteries of London" by Coldplay.</p><p>follow me on twitter @TWTBEES for updates</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The day was dreary, of course it was raining. It always seemed to rain on funerals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been two days since he jumped. The broken body lying on the grass, so peaceful, so still. The slight tinge of red that ran down the hill, water and blood dying the flowers pink. The image burned into Tubbo’s mind, hot and fiery. The rain usually gave him comfort. It was constant, gentle, not like how it felt as he cradled Tommy’s head in his lap, begging for him to wake up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’ll never wake up.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He let loose a guttural scream, lost in the thunder, never to be heard by anyone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembered soft pattering of rain on the roof. Tubbo would always make Tommy hot cocoa on those late nights, it was a sort-of tradition for the two. Tubbo’s hand started to burn as he handed the cup to Tommy. He eagerly grabbed it from him, alleviating him of the scolding cup, “Thanks man,” Tubbo sat down besides him. They still made hot cocoa, despite the heat of the summer, they couldn’t help themselves. The two would sit and talk for hours, reliving the small victories they had together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Tubbo couldn’t remember the warmth. He only felt a cold pit in his heart, freezing his body, freezing his brain. He exchanged his normal suit for a suit of all black, and exchanged his bee pin for a small Mellohi pin he had ordered for the funeral. His dainty hands shook as he attempted to attach it to his suit. “Fuck,” he exclaimed as the pin poked him, leaving a small drop of blood on his pointer. He haphazardly wiped it in his suit, leaving a stain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo wandered over to the mirror, checking his tie and straightening his suit. He only then noticed the definable bags under his eyes. He hadn’t slept since the night of. The closest thing he got to sleep was when he passed out after seeing Tommy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t remember why or when he passed out, but he woke up with a flood of dirt in his mouth. He scrambled up and briefly forgot about Tommy, until he was staring at Tubbo with a blank stare. Tubbo’s heart jumped into his throat. It was all too quiet, it shouldn't have ended like this. He barely could breath as he glanced down at his body, the holes in his shirt, the blood. So much blood, it overwhelmed him. He glanced down and saw his hands were stained, his white blazer, his pants. The ground was red, even after the night storm washed most of it down the hill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo found himself talking to Tommy, or rather himself, “I’m sorry. Oh my god. What have I done? This is all my fault…” His voice tapered off as his hands started shaking again. He held himself close and forced himself to look away as he started violently hiccuping, tears choking him. It felt like days before he could look Tommy in his glassy blue eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo found himself jumping in his skin as someone knocked on his door, “Just a min!” he yelled, his voice slightly cracking. He would curse himself out later for that. He desperately ruffled his hair in an attempt to hide the small horns that started to peak through his hair. He didn’t know exactly when they appeared, only that they were growing too quick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jogged over to open the door, finding Eret, looming over him. Tubbo knew he was too fragile for this conversation. He always could find comfort in her voice, despite all the shit she’d put him and his friends through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo tried to have the conversation anyways, “Hey Eret,” his voice was small, unlike a president's voice. He forced himself to make eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eret dropped down to their knees, as he was wearing platform boots, making them over a foot taller than Tubbo. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Always a flair for the dramatic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Eret grabbed Tubbo by the shoulders, giving Tubbo a chill down his spine. He remembered what Quackity would always tell him: “Trust no one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eret’s voice was as sweet as honey, “I’m so sorry Tubbo, I knew how much you cared about him, and I know he’s looking down on us right now. He was so brave, so passionate, such a wonderful friend. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.” She embraced him in a hug. Tubbo thought he had moved on past the initial grieving, but he soon found himself grasping onto the sleeve of Eret’s black dress. He felt the warmth of his tears stain the dress as sobs ripped his throat, making him hoarse. Eret comforted him, humming to him as he sobbed and sobbed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo felt himself flinch as Eret reached to pat his hair, but he didn’t pull away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Someone was bound to find out eventually. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He felt her hand stop and suddenly her presence didn’t feel as welcoming. The two pulled away from each other, Eret’s eyes too wide for Tubbo’s liking. Before they could mutter a word, Tubbo interjected, “You don't tell a soul about this, ok? Not one damned person, or else I will make your life a living hell.” He got himself real close to him, trying to look threatening despite being a whole foot shorter. Eret nodded, silently letting himself out, walking a little slower than usual, eyeing Tubbo’s room. He closed the door behind him, leaving the room quiet again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo dropped down on his bed, letting out a big sigh. It wasn’t in his nature to be aggressive, but being president meant he had to set his boundaries, even if that meant hurting some feelings, and ruffling some feathers. He thought Tommy was the one person who always knew the truth about him, he was caring right? Who was he becoming?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo didn’t even realize he fell asleep until he heard another knock at his door. He reluctantly got up, fluffing his hair and wiping his drool, “For fuck’s sake.” He threw the blanket he grabbed in his sleep aside. Stomping over to the door he opened it to find Ranboo standing awkwardly, unable to see Tubbo, as he was significantly taller than the doorframe. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus Christ, why am I always stuck with the tall people. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tubbo silently walked past Ranboo, who was still silent. Ranboo was quite an odd figure, standing at 6’7, he should’ve been quite an intimidating person to be around, but next to Tommy, Ranboo was one of the people Tubbo knew he could trust. Their late night banter couldn't have meant nothing, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo reached for his hand, hoping for some stability. Ranboo almost jerked away, but he held Tubbo’s hand firm, “Are you ready?” Ranboo glanced down at Tubbo. He could only afford to nod, scared of crying again. And with that, the two headed towards the cemeteries. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the sparkling pond</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Tubbo knew it wasn’t a good idea to question gods, but he had nothing left to lose.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw// suicide mention, slight gore, death, paranoia/unreality<br/>stay safe my friends :))<br/>i would like to thank lindsey for helping me revise and design, also for putting up with me always bothering you. i would also like to thank kareyna for begging me to release this fic, ily &lt;3</p><p>follow me on twitter for updates: @TWTBEES</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The walk seemed longer than it was yesterday, when Phil insisted that him and Tubbo should visit the soon to-be-grave. Tubbo wanted to reject his offer, remembering all the times Phil was absent when Tommy needed him. He walked with Phil anyways. The sun wasn’t even up, leaving the two to stroll in the dark. Phil walked slowly, deep in thought. It seemed like minutes before he asked, “Do you know why he did it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo shot his head up, glaring at Phil, “Oh so </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> you care? After he’s long dead?” He radiated anger, letting Phil know how shitty he’d been. Phil glared at him, radiating the same aggression back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil stopped in his tracks, turning towards Tubbo, “After what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>did?! You were the one who fucking exiled him! Talk about a shitty friend!” Tubbo’s felt his heart drop. He alway forced Exile Day into the back of his mind. He knew it was his fault. Tubbo knew Tommy jumped because of what he did. It was crystal clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could recall the whispering in the back of his mind, “Do it, Tubbo. Do it. Exile Tommy. He’s gotten away with too much. You know I’m right. Do it!” The slithering voice made him do it. That’s what Tubbo convinced himself. The voice forced him against his cabinet’s advice. The voice forced him to exile Tommy from his home. The voice forced him to send his best friend away. His best friend. His only friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he listen to the voice?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s move on, Phil.” Tubbo put on his presidential voice, monotone and direct. He started walking again, not even checking if Phil was following him. The two walked in silence. Tubbo watched the dawn as the sunlight started to hit each individual blade of grass. The bees brought a small smirk to his face as they circled the blush colored flowers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could only escape for a few minutes until Phil redirected him so the two were walking on the left fork of the path, an area Tubbo had only been once or twice. The trees seemed to grow over the path, blocking the small amount of sun they had, making it as dark as night again. Phil obviously knew where he was going, he continued to walk faster, leaving Tubbo almost jogging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the trees cleared, all Tubbo could see was the deep pit and the dug up dirt. He couldn’t breath when he saw the black cloth, and what must be underneath it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil quickly redirected him, “This is what I’ve been preparing. Don’t look.” But Tubbo couldn’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> look. He forced Phil aside and pulled the cloth that was resting on Tommy’s face. He knew Phil was yelling at him, but he couldn’t hear him over the rush of blood in his ears. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I did this. This is all my fault. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His face was so pale, so devoid of anything. His nose looked broken, scraped adorning his face. Tubbo never realized how bad the damage actually was, his mind was still a blur from yesterday. Tubbo saw the maroon of blood staining his shirt. He reached to pull the cover down further, “Can I say my goodbyes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil looked apprehensive, Tubbo seeing his “fatherly” side come out, wanting to protect Tubbo from the horror that was Tommy’s carcas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I’d prefer it if you would keep the fabric up. He’s really beaten up. I don’t want you seeing that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo didn’t want to listen, he decided was going to look anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could touch the cloth, Phil violently pushed him aside, so hard Tubbo fell onto the cold dirt, sending all the wildlife running, “What the fuck, Phil!” He pulled himself and brushed the dirt off of his suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil moved in front of the body and flung out his arms so Tubbo couldn’t see Tommy anymore. He was breathing heavily, “No, no. Don’t look, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Phil, I’ve already seen him. I was the one who found him,” Tubbo didn’t even remember the damage, he needed to know just how bad it was,  “You’re not going to let me see my best friend one last time?” He pleaded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misery clouded Phil’s face, “Why didn’t you bring him back here? Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pit in Tubbo’s stomach grew, “I- I didn’t have a horse. I could barely make it home by myself. I was planning on coming back, I promise.” He clenched his fist, feeling his fingernails digging into his palms, a familiar feeling, something he did when he got overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo saw Phil coming over to him, when the familiar snaky voice came back into his head, “Bullshit. Liar. You were never coming back for Tommy. You were going to let him rot  on that field forever.” The voice was so loud, so volatile, he physically recoiled, pushing Phil away from him. He ended up stumbling again in the dirt, feeling like he was suffocating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t handle the voice anymore, it always seemed to come at the worst times, striking him frozen, picking at his brain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo! Are you ok?” Phil came down and tried to grab him again, but Tubbo weakly defended himself, shooing him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No. I just need a minute. Just a minute. You can leave, Phil. Please do.” He gasped and grabbed for more dirt, feeling it pile under his fingertips. He could still hear the echo of the voice in his head, bouncing around his brain. Tubbo could feel a terrible headache starting. He waited until he could no longer hear Phil’s footsteps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please. Please just leave me alone. Stop getting in my brain!” He screamed at the ground, clutching his hair in his hands, feeling the indentations of his horns against his thumbs. After minutes of restless panting, waiting for the voice to show up again, he lifted his head and looked around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun had significantly risen, casting light over the black cloth. As he was about to go over to reach for it again, Tubbo noticed a figure materialize out in the distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been in denial about the voice. He knew who it was, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. He watched as the man in the green robes approached him, mask adorned with a smile, covering his nose and mouth. Tubbo knew he wasn’t tangible, but his presence was still terrifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want from me?” He pleaded, voice small. Tubbo knew it wasn’t a good idea to question gods, but he had nothing left to lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The god kneeled so he met Tubbo’s eyes. He never realized how terrifying those eyes were. They seemed to glitch, slightly changing color and shape every second, pupils morphing. Galaxies could be hiding in those eyes. They were like looking directly into the sun, he could only glance for a few seconds at a time. Tubbo felt himself breathing heavily, the god’s presence was starting to fry his brain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The god spoke again, this time from his own mouth, not inside of Tubbo’s brain, “Tomorrow, I want to see you after the funeral, at the pond.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo gathered the courage to stare right into his eyes, “Ok, Dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today was the day. The drizzle soaked into everyones’ bones as they walked down the trail Phil had led him down yesterday. He didn’t know if he was shivering because he was cold or because he knew what was to come. Tubbo led the group, most of his friends, and even his enemies following behind him. Ranboo was the only one to catch up during the walk and talk to him. Though his steps were silent, Tubbo could sense him looming over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo stayed silent. He didn’t feel like talking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo felt like talking, “Hey Tubbo… How are you doing now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My best friend is fucking dead, How do you think I am?” The edge of his voice made him immediately feel bad, “I’m sorry, Ranboo, you’re just trying to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo could see a small smile creep onto his face, vibrant heterochromic eyes glowing. He still looked dapper, considering the situation. He adorned cute buttons and gold chains on his mourning suit. His crown was almost falling off of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two walked in awkward silence as the group neering the gravesite. Tubbo recognized the black cloth draped over the casket, candles barely flickering due to the rain. Phil must’ve gathered flowers after his meltdown. Pink flowers in vases surrounded the casket. Ranboo informed him that they were Alstroemeria, flowers that symbolized a friendship that endured through death. But that wasn't all. Laying on the cloth was a compass, Tubbo could see the violet rippling on the surface. As he got closer, he saw the needle was pointed straight at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Your Tubbo.</span>
  </em>
  <span> How did he miss the compass when he was with Tommy? How could he be so careless? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ceremony went by in a blur. Phil refused to have an open-casket due to the copious damage Tommy had endured, Phil didn’t want to scare everyone, he didn’t want them to know how gorey it was. People said their condolences, patted Tubbo on the back, told him how much they would miss Tommy. They wouldn’t miss him more than Tubbo would. Small rage boiled inside of him. He kept looking at the compass laying on the cloth, needle persistently pointing to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How will I manage without him?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo stayed after everybody else left. Candles extinguished by the strengthening rain. He stood over the casket, staring aimlessly at the compass once again. He felt empty, his heart a black hole. He’d never love anyone the way he loved Tommy. The worst part is that he knew it was his fault Tommy was gone. This was goodbye. He whispered his regrets against the cloth, feeling his own tears adding to the rain that soaked the fabric. Then he layed weeping. He could feel his energy draining, the motivation, desire, love, </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling</span>
  </em>
  <span>, leaving him, feeding into the black hole that occupied his chest. He sobbed until nothing was left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what to do without you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hours could’ve passed and he wouldn’t have noticed, the sun was invisible under the thick sheets of rain. Finally he got himself off of the casket, body stiff from sitting so long. He knew what he had to do next. He made his way back home, noticing how grey the world looked. He decided to change, deciding his encounter with Dream would be better in actual clothes rather than his soaked mourning suit. As he got changed into a green button up and denim, he observed the scar on his face. He sighed. After a few minutes of self-depreciation he made his way over to the pond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After changing out of his suit, he finally met Dream at the pond, the water was so crystal clear, Tubbo could see all the way to the bottom. He’d only been to this pond a couple times, usually with Tommy. They would sneak out late at night and find the hidden wonders nature had to offer. They would count stars and find constellations together. Dream had his normal green robes on, instead this time Tubbo saw the large shimmering axe attached to his hip, alongside the numerous potions. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my god, is he going to kill me?</span>
  </em>
  <span> A shiver went down Tubbo’s spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream gestured to the bench that sat next to the pond. They both sat down, Tubbo waiting awkwardly for Dream to talk. Dream sighed, the most human thing Tubbo had seen him do, “I’m sorry for what happened, Tubbo.” This caught him by surprise, Tubbo had never seen him show any kind of compassion. He wasn’t the type of god the people praised and prayed to, he was face of disaster, his presence a warning. He was death. He was destruction. He was everything Tubbo feared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really sorry for what happened to Tommy?” Tubbo questioned.</span>
</p><p><span>Dream met his eyes, “Why wouldn’t I be? He was only sixteen, hardly a child. I’ve seen the rise and fall of heroes, the tragedies. He’s tormented by his thoughts. He knows,” Tubbo didn’t want to believe him, but he knew it was true. He could see into the afterlife. Dream knew everything, “You do know Tubbo, it was your fault he died. Now the rest of the country thinks it was due to loneliness or they think I</span><em><span> somehow </span></em><span>influenced him to jump.”</span> <span>Tubbo wasn’t sure, but he think he heard a chuckle come from Dream.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream tried to look hurt, but it was hard with only his eyes visible, “Now why would you suggest that? Why would I kill an innocent boy?” His voice was taunting. Tubbo knew he was tormenting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo let out a disgruntled noise, “So now what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream stood up, wandering over to the edge of the pond, Tubbo followed him, watching the fish swim around each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Tubbo, I can’t have more people hating me then they already do. You do realize that I can’t have them thinking I pushed a child to the point of suicide. I’m already hated beyond belief, this could be the turning point. You do realize gods can die right? And without me? You’re all dead, but nobody realizes that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s cheeks were warm with fire, “What are you suggesting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream faced him directly, Tubbo could feel his godly presence in his bones as he illuminated the pond, making the fish and plants glow, giving Dream’s face a spooky glow, “Oh I think you know, Mr. President. I want you to tell everyone it was your fault. Tell them you sent letters, mocking him, torturing him from afar. That you were never really his friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s heart sank, “Now why would I do that?” His hands shook, desperately clutching to the fabric of his jeans. He was pushed into a corner, nowhere to run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream grabbed Tubbo’s shirt, pulling him close so he was forced to stare at his cavernous eyes, “Because if you dont, I will burn your fucking country to the ground.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. our friendly constellations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"All the emotion he suppressed came out in one quick sweep as he broke down on his bed and wept. It felt like a piece of him died along with Tommy, something golden and pure, replaced with hatred and bitterness."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw// suicide, paranoia/unreality, gore, depression, puke, death, gaslighting<br/>take care of yourself &lt;3</p><p>thanks for all the love so far &lt;3</p><p>follow me on twitter @TWTBEES for updates</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The journey home was miserable. Tubbo could barely stare straight ahead, his brain near broken after his time with Dream. The lanterns helped illuminate his path, but he still had difficulties with his direction and got lost frequently along the way. His headache forced him to sit down several times just to catch his breath. He knew Dream didn’t have to fuck up his mind this much, but he did. He wanted Tubbo to suffer. He even threw up on the side of the path, retching the cookie he had earlier before his talk with dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though it took him longer than usual to get back home, Tubbo eventually pushed his way through the door, trying to make it to his bed as quickly as possible, stumbling up the stairs. His exhaustion hit him like a wall, this would be his first time sleeping since Tommy’s jump. He didn’t even bother changing his clothes, and he fell asleep with all the lamps still on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the middle of the night when the temperature dropped. Tubbo immediately woke up, pulling the blanket at the edge of the bed close to him as he shivered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Weird. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He remembered falling asleep to the lights on, but the room was eerily dark. It took him a minute before he spotted the pair of eyes in the corner, illuminating the surrounding space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo almost jumped out of his skin, “What the fuck!” He pulled the blanket closer to him and scrambled near the headrest, a futile attempt to escape the green eyes staring him down. The figure stepped forward, revealing himself as Dream. Instead of his normal cloak, he wore cargo pants and a chestplate, faintly shimmering in the dark. Tubbo noticed the axe by his side, again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Recovering from his terror, Tubbo demanded, “What the hell are you doing in my room?!” He didn’t even care about the fact he was probably waking everyone up, as he lived in a small community house with his closest personnel: Quackity, Ranboo, Fundy, and a couple others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream giggled at his fear, eating it up like candy, “Oh, I just wanted to check up on you.” He flicked his hand and all the lights in the room came on, “Ahh, that’s better. Nice set of horns you got going on.” He pointed at Tubbo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dread coursed through his veins, and he quickly ruffled his hair. A futile attempt at concealing the obvious. Tubbo’s heartbeat must've been audible to Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boredom filled Dreams voice, “You don’t have to hide it kid. I would be surprised if you can even hide it any longer, those shits seem to be growing at the speed of light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo cried, “How do I stop them?!” He gripped to the blanket, knuckles white.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream approached the headrest as Tubbo tried to back up further, ultimately hitting his head on the frame, “There’s no way of stopping them. You did this to yourself. Figure it out yourself. See you soon, Mr. President.” And with that, he was suddenly gone, the lights turning off with his departure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo had a restless night of sleep, waking up immediately tired. He prayed that he had nothing presidential to do today, even if he did, he planned on not doing it. He needed more time to recover. After putting on some casual attire, he started to make his way to the kitchen. Before he could step out the door, he noticed a box sitting in the corner of the room. There was a scribbled note stuck to the side: “From Phil. Take care”. He carefully opened the box, finding all of Tommy’s belongings. He quickly shut the box, he couldn’t handle this right now. He made him way downstairs, hearing the familiar creak of the floorboards. He observed Fundy sitting on the coach, reading a book. He was wearing pajamas with dancing foxes on them. He gave Tubbo a little wave, lifting his head from the book. Fundy’s thin hair was disheveled. Tubbo waved back, quickly making his way over to the stove. He quickly found himself falling back into his old routine, making hot cocoa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo knew the recipe by heart. He pulled out the saucepan, dumping in the milk, sugar, chocolate, vanilla, and cocoa powder. Everyone thought it was weird that he drank hot cocoa in the morning instead of coffee, but Tubbo didn’t care, coffee was too acidic anyways. He zoned out, occasionally stirring the ingredients together. Tubbo grabbed two mugs from the cabinet while he waited for the mixture to finish melting together. Fundy eyed him, peaking over his book. Finally, Tubbo grabbed the marshmallows and dished the hot cocoa into the two mugs. He deposited three small marshmallows into Tommy’s mug, just the way he liked it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo violently sighed, “Hey, Fundy? Do you want some hot cocoa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy looked slightly miserable, “Uh, yeah sure.” He put his book down to come retrieve the cup from Tubbo, “Thanks man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence, Tubbo remembering all the mornings Tommy and him had sat together, laughing at the stupidest shit, occasionally spilling the hot cocoa all over their pajamas. Tommy would laugh at him as Tubbo had to go change his clothes. Tubbo could still hear his laugh in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for long, you’ll forget soon enough.” Tubbo whipped around, finding Dream standing in the corner, arms crossed, eyes wild.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy shook his arm, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo pushed him away, “N-nothing, I’m ok.” He still stared at Dream. He hadn’t moved. Tubbo set his mug down and quickly walked out of the room, Dream following him. He scurried up the stairs and slammed the door behind him, Dream materializing by his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t told them yet.” He observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I haven’t told anyone yet, I just woke up!” Tubbo snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream suggested, “You could’ve told Fundy right then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo flopped back onto the bed, “Just give me a goddamn minute to prepare a speech or something! I need to think about what I want to say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, he disappeared. Tubbo grunted and grabbed the pillow from behind his head and flung it at the door where Dream was just standing. He grabbed the other one and screamed into it. He was so tired of being him, it was so unfair. He had an entire country to run while he could barely keep himself on two feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fire burned Tubbo’s eyes as they welled up with tears. All the emotion he suppressed came out in one quick sweep as he broke down on his bed and wept. It felt like a piece of him died along with Tommy, something golden and pure, replaced with hatred and bitterness. He screamed until he couldn't breathe, his own tears choking him. Sleep came quick after Tubbo’s episode, he was finally at peace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo woke up with Ranboo at his side, kind eyes picking apart the mess he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned, “What are you doing here?” Tubbo rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to check in on you. You sounded quite miserable.” Tubbo noticed his golden hair falling into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, sorry about that.” Guilt flooded Tubbo, he probably sounded like he was being murdered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry. I understand, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>understand. You don’t have to bottle this up, we’re all kids. You’re allowed to mourn. It’s healthy to scream and cry and kick. I just wanted to let you know I’m here.” Ranboo spread his arms wide, inviting Tubbo into his arms. He fell into Ranboo, feeling the buttons of his coat indent his cheek. Tears threatened him again, but this time he had no restraints, he let it all lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo was silent, letting Tubbo let all his emotion out on him. Tubbo sat in his arms, sniffling his snot, feeling small and weak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo whispered, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo sat up, grabbing the closest pillow, “Um, yeah, there actually is something you can do for me. Can we talk?” He was trembling slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure. What is it?” He positioned himself so he was looking Tubbo straight in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so, you can’t tell anyone else about this,” Tubbo sighed, he could barely catch his breath, “Basically, I’m having a minor issue.” He parted his hair so the small tan horns were visible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Ranboo whispered, “Oh.” He reached out to touch them, carefully running his fingers over the small horns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm scared. I don’t know what to do. Ranboo, am I a monster?” Tubbo whimpered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, you’re ok. We’ll figure this out together. When did they start growing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, maybe two weeks ago?” He tied his fingers together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Ranboo could respond, a guttural scream tore through the house. They both scrambled off the bed and ran down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream was standing over a bloodied Eret in the middle of the living room, axe gleaming red, staining the shag carpet. Eret was on his knees, holding their jaw. Tubbo could see the consistent drip despite Eret’s effort to cup the blood in her hands. Dream only looked at Tubbo, shifting eyes burning into his skull. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo was kneeling next to Eret, “What happened?” The room started to fill with cacophony as more people rolled in. Quackity demanded to know what the fuss was about. Karl stood shocked. Fundy saw Eret and screamed, immediately rushing to their side. He tried to look Eret in the eyes but she wouldn’t lift her head. Only then did Tubbo see the several teeth laying in the pool of blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy pleaded, “Dad. Dad! Please look at me. Please.” His voice cracked. Tubbo was reminded  that he was just a child, younger than him, watching his adoptive father helplessly bleed on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eret assured Fundy, “I’m ok. Can you go back to your room? Quackity, can you join him?” Quackity nodded, grabbing Fundy’s hand and leading him up the stairs. Once Fundy was gone, Eret lifted his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo and the rest of them flinched, except Dream. The entire side of his face was slashed open, leaving a gaping space. Broken shards of teeth were scattered along the wound. The blood was constant, Eret’s white t-shirt completely stained on the side as gravity brought the deep maroon lower. Ranboo helped them down onto the floor, calling for Karl to fetch him bandages and pain medicine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo noticed Eret’s head lolling to the side, he quickly rushed to her side, “Hey Eret. Eret. Can you hear me?” He held the good side of her face. He got no response, he’d drifted off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ranboo muttered, “Fuck,” He cried, “Karl! Hurry up! We’re losing him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo couldn’t help but stare at Dream, who was just seeming to wait for someone to recognize his presence. They held each other's gaze until Karl came in with a box of medical supplies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who did this?!” He demanded, setting down the box and handing Ranboo supplies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream finally stepped forward, “I was actually the one to attack him.” They all stared at him, rage simmering in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Ranboo sounded disappointed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream’s gaze shifted to Tubbo, “Oh, Tubbo knows. He knows why I did it. This will happen again, Mr. President, but you know how to prevent this. And next time, I won't hesitate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo was relieved when Ranboo informed him that Eret would be ok. They would be out of commission for quite a bit, but they would live. Tubbo mostly stayed secluded in his room, pacing. The guilt started to eat him whole. He needed a speech and he needed it soon. He had a gut feeling who would be next on Dream’s hit list. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drafted speech after speech, each one falling flat. He needed it to sound realistic or else Dream would probably kill him on the spot. He tried writing for hours until he eventually gave up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s mind wandered to the box that sat in the corner of his room. He grabbed it and plopped it on his bed. Taking a deep breath, he opened it. Piles of Tommy’s stuff were hidden under envelopes, all titled “To Tubbo”. He removed the stack, he would read them later. Next, he saw the compass, needle still pointing towards Tubbo’s chest. He saw the small engraving “Your Tubbo''. Dirt filled the nooks and the glass covering the needle was smudged. Part of the chain was about to break, but Tubbo still slipped it around his neck. The new weight felt familiar immediately. He found several other items, like logs of wood and small bells. Tubbo mostly focused on the compass and the notes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started tearing open the envelope when a familiar figure appeared again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ, you’re obsessed with me.” Tubbo growled, refusing to make eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just wanted to offer you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you have to offer me except misery and threats?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Tubbo, you’re underestimating my power.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo was exasperated, “Oh, come on. All you do is torture me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you see Tommy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head shot up, “Will you?” Tubbo knew there was some sort of catch, but he couldn’t resist an offer like this one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I would! I mean, after tomorrow, when you give your big speech, you’ll have lost all of your allies! This is the least I can do for you.” He leaned against the bed frame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the catch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no catch. Just that you have to give the speech tomorrow. After that, we can meet at the pond and we’ll visit him together. Do we have a deal?” He held out his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo shook his hand, sending an electric shock down his hand, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream smiled, “See you tomorrow, Mr. President.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey Tubbo,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is Tommy. I’m still really pissed off that you exiled me. You’re kind of a shitty friend. Anyways, I miss you. Exile is boring, there’s no girls and Ghostbur is a pain in the ass. I can’t believe I’m even writing this letter right now, I actually hate you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talk to you later I guess,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hi Tubbo,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dream joined me in exile! He’s been coming to visit me. He keeps me company, and nobody else comes to visit me, so I guess he’s my only friend at the moment.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you even getting these?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tubbo,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You didn’t show up to my beach party. What a massive dickhead. Dream is the only one who showed up, he’s the only one who cares anymore. At least the stars are pretty to look at.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Tubbo,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you. I’m sorry. Dream is no longer fun. He steals my stuff and makes me feel like shit. I just want to see you again. I’m sorry Tubbo. All I want is to see you. It’s always been you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please return my letters,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to go home. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m tired of this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t do this anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last letter was much longer than the others.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. death on dawn's horizon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Millions of stars surrounded them as Tubbo glanced around, taking in the vastness, the silence. Everything was still, time was stopped."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw// suicide, mild violence, depression, mild gore, gaslighting</p>
<p>follow me on twitter @TWTBEES for updates</p>
<p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cold clinged to Tubbo throughout the night as he shivered under several blankets. Tommy’s last letter kept haunting him, the scribbled handwriting, the smudged ink, it was burnt into his mind. He pushed the blankets off of him, giving up on his futile attempts to sleep. Tubbo grabbed his speech for later in the morning, quietly rehearing it in the mirror. Tears slid down his face as he prepared to lose the friends he’d made.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He found himself turning on the shower, not even bothering to undress from his pajamas, and stepped in. Tubbo wept, the hum of the shower drowning out the noise and his thoughts. He eventually dozed off, letting the stream of water hit him in the face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Quackity rapped at the door, Tubbo violently woke up, realizing the shower was still on. It was morning. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my God, how long have I been sleeping?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He turned off the tap, stressed over the amount of water he just wasted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quackity knocked again, “Hey Tubbo, I didn’t see your light on and you didn’t show for breakfast. Just wanted to check on you. Are you doing ok?” Tubbo tried to desperately pull himself out of the shower, his body sore from being in such an awkward position for so long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gripped onto the shower curtain for support, “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll be out in a second.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quackity sighed, “Yeah, ok. You might wanna hurry up. Your declaration is set to start in an hour. Everyone’s kinda waiting right now.” Tubbo heard him walk away, the soft wood creaking. He swapped his soaked pajamas for his presidential attire, pinning his bee pin next to the Mellohi pin. Tubbo shook his damp hair, carefully positioning it so it covered the horns. They were already so much bigger today, he couldn’t hide them for much longer, maybe a day at most. It didn’t matter anyway, he was declaring him as the villain today. He was free to be the monster he really was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed a blueberry muffin, one that Puffy had baked earlier, and scarfed it down. It was still warm. Tubbo sat alone in the living room, revising his speech, preparing what to say. His hands started to become clammy as the time ticked down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quackity appeared at the door frame, “Alright. Time to go.” Tubbo tucked the paper into his pocket and followed him out the door. He slid the compass into his pocket, he needed his act to look real, he couldn’t wear Tommy’s compass, not today. Fundy appeared as the two flanked him, walking down the path to Tubbo’s podium. Everyone was sitting in the audience, even Eret, who adorned bandages covering half of his face. Ranboo gave him two thumbs up, looking dapper in his suit. Dream sat in the back, staring at Tubbo with shifting eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo gathered his papers and tapped the mic, grabbing everyone's attention, “Good morning. I’ve gathered everyone for a quick announcement, regarding the tragic death of Tommy, who we all miss dearly. Let it be known, I was the root of his death. I sent him frequent letters, telling him about the state of L’manburg, bragging about our success and achievements, perpetuating his depression and loneliness.” He saw several shocked faces among the crowd, including Niki, who had her mouth covered by her hand. Tubbo continued, “I was the one who killed Tommy, not by force, but by my words. I am the one to blame for his suicide, and I understand if you want me to step down from office. Thank you for your time today.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He quickly vacated the stage, making a beeline straight back to his house. Several people tried to grab him, frantically asking questions, but Tubbo shrugged them off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karl grabbed him with so much force Tubbo could feel his fingernails biting into his skin, “Why the fuck would you do that?! He was your best friend!” He screamed at him. Tubbo quickly seized his shoulder and twisted him to the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karl groaned as he came in contact with the mud, dirting his vibrant hoodie. Tubbo stood over him, “You don’t understand! None of you fucking understand! And you never will!” He felt his hair fall forward, covering his eyes, and he was suddenly aware that everyone could see his horns. They were in full sight. It wasn’t a secret anymore. This must be the end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he started to regain his senses, Karl muttered, “What the hell…”  He tapered off, pointing at the horns. Tubbo didn’t let another word leave any of their mouths, he started running. People called his name but he kept running, he ran and ran. Maybe if he ran fast enough he could escape. Escape his life, find a means,</span>
  <em>
    <span> a way</span>
  </em>
  <span>, out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo flung his bedroom door open, quickly fumbled for the keys, and locked the door. He never locked his door, he wanted to be accessible, he was a government official after all. But now he was scared for his life. Why wouldn’t that crowd be bloodthirsty? He killed his best friend. He was a monster. He deserved death. He deserved to suffer for what he did to Tommy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo kept himself locked in his room all day, nervously fiddling with objects around him. He finally picked up a scratch piece of paper and started writing. He gripped Tommy’s letters and he responded to each one, pretending he was still with him. Tubbo stained the paper with his tears and he grew more frantic, trying to get through all the letters, holding onto the last remains of Tommy with shaking hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last letter arrived. Tubbo glimpsed over it again as the handwriting delved into chaos, the last line barely legible. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His heart sank again. Tubbo stopped writing, stopped thinking. He sat on his floor, at least fifty letters surrounding him, and curled up into a ball. He wanted to die. It’s all he wanted at this point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo found himself soon writing a familiar letter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo regained his sanity as he realized he was famished. He snuck into the kitchen, praying that nobody was there. Thankfully, he sat alone as he munched on a mayo sandwich. He stared into the abyss, wondering where it all went wrong. Everything felt peaceful at that moment, just him alone in nostalgia. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ranboo walked into the room as Tubbo’s defences immediately went up. He scrambled off the stool and ran over to the other side of the room, “What do you want, Ranboo?” Tubbo itched for a weapon of some kind, some protection.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ranboo held his hands up in defence, “I just want to talk. Can we do that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you promise to not hurt me.” Tubbo breathed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would I hurt you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why wouldn't you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He signed, “Tubbo, nobody is out to get you. You do understand that right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo let his guard down, “They aren’t? After what I did? After the horns?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ranboo sat down on the couch, inviting Tubbo to join him, “No. We all know you’re being blackmailed. It makes no sense, he was your best friend, why would you do that to him? You’re too caring it’s just not you. Now Karl, he was simply putting on an act. Maybe he went a little far, but it looked believable. We need to make it look like we think you killed Tommy, we need to make sure Dream doesn’t get suspicious. Everyone is on your side, Tubbo. Don’t worry.” He embraced Tubbo, his lanky arms wrapping around him. Tubbo fell into the hug, feeling loved. He would be ok. He would live. Maybe he would even prosper.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo had his first decent night of sleep for the first time since the night of the jump, until Dream beckoned him. He immediately woke up when he was teleported to the sparkling pond, the one he met Dream at the other day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo stumbled, still drowsy from his slumber, “Oh, what the hell? Why am I here?” His bare feet sunk into the bed of moss. The light from the pond burnt his eyes. He suddenly felt self conscious in his plaid pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you want to see Tommy? I thought that was our agreement. You ran off before we could talk.” Dream wore a long beige robe, his belt adorning potions. Being near him was like being near nuclear fallout, every second Tubbo could feel himself decaying from his power. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo groaned, “Just take me to him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No need to be needy, Mr. President.” Dream snapped his fingers as Tubbo passed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo found himself in space, floating alongside Dream, who was simply a cloud of green dust. He was pure power, not confined to a human form anymore. Millions of stars surrounded them as Tubbo glanced around, taking in the vastness, the silence. Everything was still, time was stopped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo whispered, “Dream? What is this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dream’s voice was omnipresent, filling the entirety of space, “Oh, Tubbo. Do you not understand? I am God, this is my home. This is where I normally reside, when I’m not dealing with mortal issues.” It was just him and Dream, and Tommy. Tommy, who was just a bit away from him, sitting on air, staring at a distant comet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo screamed, “Tommy!” He attempted to run towards him, but he couldn’t move well in space. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy slowly turned around, white eyes staring through him, he was looking at Dream’s scattered form instead, “Who is this?” Tommy mumbled. His face was completely bloodied, half of his skull crushed in. His body was covered with deep cuts, so many bones looked out of place. His hair was matted with blood, blood that seemed to cover every inch of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo’s heart dropped. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Does he not remember me? What’s happening?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He could only stare at Tommy, the misery that was his broken form. He suddenly couldn’t breathe, his chest felt like it was collapsing, “Dream. Dream. What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dream materialized his form, particles forming hands that wrapped around Tubbo’s shoulders, “He just needs a little reminder, a reminder of what you did.” He floated over and whispered something into Tommy’s ear. Tommy’s expression shifted as Dream continued, his eyebrows scrunched and his lip trembled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dream was suddenly gone, his form scattering, traveling miles in each direction. It was just Tommy and Tubbo. Tommy made reluctant eye contact with Tubbo, his body shook, “How could you do that to me?” Tubbo made his way over to Tommy, but he pushed Tubbo aside, “No! Don’t you fucking dare touch me! Get away from me!” His lips were drawn into a snarl, a small trickle of fresh blood dripping down his chin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo was stopped dead in his tracks, “Tommy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy’s voice was hoarse with aggression, “Don’t speak! I don’t remember what you did to me, but Dream knows,</span>
  <em>
    <span> he</span>
  </em>
  <span> knows. You were the one! You made me jump off of a cliff! You- you sent me all of those letters, telling me to jump, telling me I was worthless. W-why did you do it? I thought we were best friends. Why did you break me?” He broke down into sobs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo wanted to comfort him, but he knew Tommy wouldn’t let him. Guilt tore through Tubbo, he was responsible for Tommy’s state, his eternal misery. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo’s voice was wobbly, “I-I’m sorry, Tommy. I don’t know what to say except for ‘I’m sorry.’” He drew in a breath, his fingers tightly wound together. He just wanted Tommy to give him some closure, anything. It was a jealous endeavor, he didn’t deserve forgiveness. He didn’t deserve anything more from Tommy, but he was desperate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy hissed, “There’s nothing to say. I don’t want you to apologize. It’s too late for that. The damage is done.” He turned around, staring at the stars again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy?” Tubbo trembled, his voice breaking. Tommy didn’t seem to hear him, he blissfully watched stars in the distance. Tubbo let him stare. This was their goodbye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tubbo screamed into the void, “Dream! Let’s go.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dream appeared in his cloud next to Tubbo, “Are you sure you want to leave?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t want anything to do with me. We’re done here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The world went black again.</span>
</p>
<p>
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